110 Funny Christmas Quotes to Get You Through the Holidays

November 01, 2022

Laugh, drink and be merry with these funny Christmas quotes! These humorous Christmas quotes are perfect for spreading holiday cheer when shared with family and friends. Whether you use these funny quotes about Christmas to spice up your latest festive social media post or to use in a Boomf Christmas card, we hope they bring a smile to your face!

Funny Christmas Quotes to Spread Joy This Festive Season

Christmas is the most magical time of the year; it is full of love, laughter and family. But, to create some special memories this Christmas, what could be better than sharing funny Xmas quotes? Full of festive cheer and creativity, these sarcastic Christmas quotes are sure to put a smile on your face and get you in the Christmas spirit!

Christmas dinner? I'm here for the crackers and mulled wine!
Santa lives the dream! One day of work a year, and he gets fed on the job - where can I sign up?
I love Christmas time. It is the one day of the year you can get together with your favourite people. But I guess you lot will do.
There's nothing better than getting up on Christmas morning and seeing what Santa has left me! But I also love finding out what everyone else got too - it makes for some interesting conversations!
Christmas time, mistletoe and wine - the three best things in life!
I love Christmas; it's my favourite time of year! I get to spend time with family, eat good food and open presents! What's not to love?
I know I can't wrap gifts very well. Trust me, they always put up a good fight!
And just like that, all my money has magically disappeared! Christmas truly is something special, eh?
I love Christmas. I love all the chocolates and gifts, but mostly I love the time spent with family and friends (I guess!)
Merry Christmas! I hope you all have a fantastic day and enjoy every moment! From eating delicious food to spending time with loved ones, make the most of it! And if you get any coal in your stocking, just remember… it's good for the environment!

Short Christmas Quotes Funny Enough to Make You Laugh

Short and sweet, these funny Christmas quotes are full of fun but without the fluff. This makes them an ideal addition to a Boomf's funny Christmas card, so you can let the fun and creative designs do the talking!

Santa Claus has the right idea - visit people only once a year. — Victor Borge
I'd rather do community service than sit and write a load of Christmas cards. — Paul O'Grady
There's something about a Christmas sweater that will always make me laugh. — Kristen Wiig
The best way to spread Christmas cheer is singing loud for all to hear. — Buddy the Elf
Christmas is a time when you get homesick, even when you're home. — Carrie Latet
The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live. — George Carlin
Christmas is a time when everybody wants his past forgotten and his present remembered. — Phyllis Diller
My husband's idea of getting into the Christmas spirit is to become Scrooge. — Melanie White
I haven't taken my Christmas lights down. They look so nice on the pumpkin. — Winston Spear
Nothing's as mean as giving a little child something useful for Christmas. — Kin Hubbard

Christmas Greetings Jokes

We might be biased, but our Christmas cards are the best way to spread some festive cheer! As seen across thousands of social media videos, our Boomf speciality cards are the perfect way to make someone's day.

But before you can gift your Boomf Christmas card, you must add a message! If you're stuck for something to write, our Christmas greetings jokes will only elevate what already is an excellent card.

Merry Christmas! Wishing you all the happiness your family can stand.
You might be a bit of a bah humbug, but we still love you! Merry Christmas!
Thanks for being such a fantastic friend and putting up with my terrible jokes.
May your holiday season be merry and bright… and all your Christmas lights work this year!
Hope you have a holly, jolly Christmas and a happy New Year - ya filthy animal!
I hope Santa is good to you this year… because I hear you have been naughty!
Holiday greetings to you and yours and all that jazz!
Wishing you a merry Christmas and a happy New Year… now let's get this party started!
We hope your holiday season is as sweet as candy canes and merry as a jingle bell!
Be sure to spend Christmas how it's meant to be, in a food coma on the sofa while the kids run riot on a sugar high! Ah, the true joy of the season!

Funny Family Christmas Quotes

Family is what makes Christmas time feel so magical, but it can also be the source of some pretty hilarious moments! But are you looking for something more than just funny Christmas quotes? Well, have we got a treat for you!

Here at Boomf, we have a huge range of Christmas cards, from silly to sweet, or even personalised with your family photos. You can also upgrade your chosen card with a confetti explosion - how fun!

Once you have chosen the best Boomf card for your family members, add one of these funny family Christmas card quotes to the inside.

Kid: ‘What are you hoping Santa brings you for Christmas?’ Dad: ‘Peace and quiet.’
Home is where the heart is…and where the Christmas cookies are!’
I come from a family where gravy is considered a beverage. — Emma Bombeck
My family knows how to make Scrooge look like a party animal!
At Christmas, all roads lead home. — Marjorie Holmes
Christmas is just one day a year when you can act like a kid and not get in trouble for it.
One of the most glorious messes in the world is the mess created in the living room on Christmas day. Don't clean it up too quickly. — Andy Rooney
Christmas is a season for kindling the fire for hospitality in the hall, the genial flame of charity in the heart. — Washington Irving
My idea of Christmas, whether old-fashioned or modern, is very simple: loving others. Come to think of it, why do we have to wait for Christmas to do that? — Bob Hope
From home to home, and heart to heart, from one place to another. The warmth and joy of Christmas brings us closer to each other. — Emily Matthews

Funny Christmas Love Quotes for Wife

Get your Christmas celebrations off to a cracking start with this collection of funny Christmas quotes - perfect for your wife! Yes, you love her, but that doesn't mean you can't have some fun with her at Christmas time!

My wife is definitely my better half...the top half!
My Christmas wish is that your love will be as strong ten years from now as it is today, except on Thursdays when we go shopping.
I love my wife, even though she doesn't always get my jokes.
My wife says I never listen to her...or something like that.
It's hard to be romantic when you're hauling a Christmas tree.
Keep your friends close, your enemies closer and receipts for all major purchases. - Bridger Winegar.
If my wife says one more time, 'It's cold in here', I'm going to move to Antarctica.
When a man opens a car door for his wife, it's either a new car or a new wife. — Prince Philip
My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met. — Rodney Dangerfield
My wife told me we weren't doing Christmas gifts this year, so I did the smart thing and bought her Christmas gifts. Happy wife, happy life, right?

Funny Christmas Love Quotes for Husband

Is your husband the kind of guy who loves a good laugh? If so, then you're in luck! Here we have some awesome funny Christmas card quotes for your husband. And while they are pretty hilarious on their own, we think these humorous Christmas quotes would look even better in a Boomf holiday card!

Choose from the best seasonal designs with his humour in mind, and be sure to add a fun surprise like a pop-up character! Then who really has the last laugh?

I love my husband, but not when I am Christmas shopping. That's when I could do without him!
The one thing women don't want to find in their stockings on Christmas morning is their husbands. — Joan Rivers
All I want for Christmas is my husband to stop leaving his socks and underwear on the floor.
A good husband makes a good wife. — John Florio
My husband says he doesn't believe in Santa, but he still hangs up his stocking every year.
Some people are worth melting for. — Olaf, Frozen
I love my husband. He's the best thing that's ever happened to me - after a festive tequila, of course!
A good marriage would be between a blind wife and a deaf husband. — Michel de Montaigne
The best Christmas present I got from my husband was a week to do whatever I wanted. — Olivia Haigh Williams
My husband knows me better than anyone, but he still manages to surprise me with the most random Christmas gifts!

Humorous Christmas Quotes for Brother

What are brothers for if not to share some giggles with at Christmas? He is the one person who knows you better than anyone and can make you laugh like no one else. So why not use this opportunity to share some funny quotes about Christmas with your brother?

I love how you always spoil me at Christmas! Well, I guess you owe me. Seeing as you're the one who told me Santa isn't real.
This year, I'm getting you a dictionary for Christmas. After all, you need to expand your vocabulary if you want a chance at beating me in an argument.
A friend is a brother who was once a bother. — Unknown
My brother is so annoying. He's like a broken elf on a shelf!
As kids, you always wanted to put yourself in the spotlight. I'm surprised you didn't ask Santa for a spot on the North Pole!
When brothers agree, no fortress is as strong as their common life. — Antisthenes
My little brother always gets coal in his stocking, but I think Santa will give him an entire bag this year because he's been extra naughty!
Half the time when brothers wrestle, it's just an excuse to hug each other. — James Patterson
You may be my brother, but that doesn't mean I have to share my Christmas goodies with you!
I love you, brother. But there is no way you'll get me to do an ugly Christmas sweater contest with you. No way!

Funny Christmas Quotes for Sister

Whether you're glued at the hip or separated by a distance, you can always count on your sister to make you laugh. These funny quotes about Christmas are the perfect way to show her just how much you appreciate her sense of humour!

I love how we can always make each other laugh, even when we're fighting. Merry Christmas, sister!
This year, I'm getting you a box of chocolates for Christmas. That way, you can have something to look forward to after you finish mine!
I don't know what I would do without you, sister. Especially during the holidays when mum and dad start getting on my nerves!
Having a sister is like having a built-in best friend.
My sister is always stealing my clothes, so this year I'm getting her a gift card for my favourite store! You know what they say, sisterhood is powerful. But it's also really annoying when you borrow my clothes without asking!
Sisters share too much to ever really be strangers. And boy, do you love to share MY Christmas treats!
Even though we don't always see eye to eye, I'm so grateful to have you as my sister. And I hope you know I'm always here for you, especially during the holidays!
Sisters by blood, sisters by our love of Christmas time!
More than Santa Claus, your sister knows when you've been bad or good. — Linda Sunshine
Sister to sister, we always will be just two nuts from the same Christmas tree!

Merry Christmas Funny Quotes for Nephew

Nephews are the best! They always bring a smile to your face, even on the grinchiest of days. Why not show your nephew how much you love him with one of these funny Christmas card quotes?

This Christmas, I'm getting my nephew a gift card for a toy store. That way, he can get whatever he wants... and I don't have to hear him beg for it!
I love how my nephew is always so excited about Christmas! He's like a little kid in a candy store, except with presents instead of candy.
Nephews are like sunshine on a snowy day. They just make everything better!
My nephew is so cute, and I just want to eat him up! But I'll settle for giving him a big Christmas hug instead.
Nephews are like snowflakes: each one is unique and special. You'll always be my little nephew, no matter how old you get. And that means you'll always get a present from Santa (aka me)!

Funny Xmas Quotes for Niece

Your sweet niece always brings a smile to your face. Show her just how much you appreciate her with one of these funny Christmas quotes! And, of course, be sure to choose a fabulous Christmas card from our festively curated collection too!

Nieces are like presents: you never know what you're going to get!
Christmas kisses and snowflake wishes to you, my little niece!
I am your favourite aunt, right? I mean, I have to be your favourite aunt because I'm the only one you have.
Nieces and Christmas lights have something in common: they just make everything better!
A niece is a gift from above, sent to make us smile and fill our hearts with love.

Funny Single Christmas Quotes for Friends

While being single at Christmas can be a bit of a bummer, there's no reason you can't have a good laugh about it! You don't need a partner to have fun, so why not use this opportunity to spend time with your friends and share some hilarious memories?

These funny single Christmas quotes are perfect for anyone flying solo this holiday season!

I asked Santa for a boyfriend for Christmas, but I think he mistook me for someone else because all I got was a pair of socks.
I'm not single, I'm just romantically challenged.
I keep telling my friends that I'm open to dating, but all they ever set me up with are these awful Christmas lights.
I'm single and ready to… eat all the Christmas food!
I may be single, but I could never feel alone with all this family around at Christmas!
Bah humbug! I've been single for so long that I've forgotten what a boyfriend feels like.
My friends are all getting married and having babies, and I'm just here, like… can someone pass the eggnog, please?
Single and ready to get nervous around anyone I find remotely attractive this Christmas time!
I'm single and ready to mingle… just not with my family.
I may be single, but that doesn't mean I'm available for every bad pickup line this Christmas!

Short Christmas Quotes Funny Enough to Make a Kid Laugh

The excitement that shines through the eyes of a child on Christmas morning is truly a magical sight. And, of course, what child doesn't love some hilarious Christmas card quotes? These short and sweet Christmas fun quotes are just what you need to make your kiddo giggle this holiday season!

Have your elf a merry little Christmas!
There's a certain magic that comes with the very first snow. For when the first snow is also a Christmas snow, well, something wonderful is bound to happen. - Frosty the Snowman
I heard you've been extra good this year. Don't worry, I had a little word with the big man, and he's slipped a little something extra into your stocking!
Seeing isn't believing, believing is seeing. — Charlie, The Santa Clause 2
What did Adam say on the day before Christmas? It's Christmas Eve!

Funny Christmas Quotes for Your Neighbours

Sometimes, it's easy to forget those closest to us during the hustle and bustle of the holiday season. However, your neighbours are just about as close as you can get! So be sure to show them some love with one of these funny Christmas quotes in your holiday cards.

Hey neighbour! Just wanted to say thanks for always being so friendly... and for not calling the cops on my wild Christmas parties!
Wishing you a ho-ho-ho lot of fun this holiday season, neighbour!
May your walls be soundproof and your patience with my noisy family and me never wear thin!
Please accept this as my apology for the time my kids will have us both up this Christmas morning!
I love that even though you can hear me blast Christmas music from my house 24/7, you never complain. You're a true holiday hero! Merry Christmas, neighbour.

Wrapping Up

And there you have it! A whole bunch of funny Christmas quote ideas to make your loved ones laugh this holiday season. But before you head off to share these hilarious Christmas quotes with anyone who'll listen, check out our range of beautiful Christmas cards! After all, a quote is only as good as the card it's written in… right?

Here at Boomf, we just love to help people worldwide celebrate Christmas in the most memorable way possible. Whether you choose from our collection of wonderfully designed festive cards or create your own and add some photos, you will no doubt bring a smile to the face of your friends and family.

Choose the best Boomf Christmas card, and don't forget to include some of these funny Christmas quotes too!